Sorry to find you here. We all know what you're feeling. The rollercoaster you have found yourself on is painful and confusing.
I agree you should read DB & DR if you haven't.
"but I know this is a lie" Yes. He is what we refer to as an alien. He lies. He lies. He lies. Focus on yourself and your child. You can't make him do anything, he's going to do what he feels like doing. You'll learn a lot from these wonderful supportive people who are all at different stages of the A ride. Good-luck to you.
