Man. Just when you think you are moving toward acceptance and detachment, WHAM! Next thing I know I am right back in the crazy land of messed up emotions.
Our interactions are either good and caring, or he is lashing out at me finding fault in everything and nothing.
I get so upset because I am trying to treat him with understanding. I am not trying to punish him for his infidelity and deceit. I am trying to meet him halfway, so where does he get of being pissy to me?
HE is the one who screwed out life up. Yet he gets to be angry with me? THAT is what pulls me back into the righteous indignation of the affair. Most of the time I can see it as having very little to do with me but in those moments I am like "How dare you treat me this way? After all that you have done, you feel like you have the right to treat me this way? You should be thanking your lucky stars that I am not a venomous person trying to screw you in every way manageable."
This ride sucks. Roller coasters never used to nauseate me but they certainly do now.
