Hmmm.... I'm kinda out of practice with this stuff, but mraintgettinany, your sitch is reminding me with uncanny precision of a section in Passionate Marriage. Their complaint was exactly the same - the wife's position was: "I'm entitled to not want sex, and there's nothing you can do about it - you can't force me to have sex when I don't want to." The good Doctor's position (in helping the H), was, "Okay, that's true, you're entitled to your preference, but then your husband is entitled to have the sex life he wants, too... so what you're saying is you don't want to be married any more". Long and short, her initial position was that she DID want to be married, but she also did NOT want sex. Sound familiar?
The punch line was... she DID like sex. A LOT! She liked it dirty. But she didn't want to be that intimate with her husband - the prospect scared her to death, because of what he might find OUT about her - she'd have to be vulnerable, and couldn't handle that.
Just perhaps a different perspective on the question. Please don't read too much into it - it's late, and as I said, I'm out of practice, so I could very easily be dead wrong, but the similarity did seem uncanny to me...
