For those of you telling MrScared that his wife is being completely selfish, and dillusional, what a shame! Did you get married to have a sex partner for the rest of your lives or to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, in good times and bad, sickness and health?
By the way, her question is very understandable to me. She's not asking you in the literal sense. She's asking if she has any value to you other than a sex partner. She's crying out to you for love, yes, the unconditional kind.
Dori, I disagree with that line of thinking and stand behind the comments that what his W is doing is SELFISH. No, I did not M my H to be my best friend. I have friends. I M him to be my HUSBAND (life-long mate/lover). When you take away the Lover part, you take away the H part. That is just my take on it of course. I WANT/NEED my H to be a LOVER just like many other people on this board state. There is nothing selfish with that expectation, but there is something selfish about withholding that expectation. The whole point about paralysis is just moot. That has nothing to do with going into a M and then Choosing to not act M anymore. M is more than just "stay with me the rest of your life no matter how I act towards you" (unconditional love). Commitment implies (to me) that both people are continually working to make the M better so that neither person feels like there needs are being ignored. Even people who are in wheelchairs have adjusted to meet some of their partners sexual needs if and when they want to and have that capability. People can get quite creative in order to show that the other person is IMPORTANT to them. It's much more of a shame that perfectly healthy people are not willing to make the same effort with their own S.
