"Not necessarily. By all rights I should NOT desire my wife, and yet I do. Some nights I feel BAD about even trying to initiate with her, afterall, why would I want to have sex with someone that does not want it FROM me. And yet why do I keep trying, it because of the freaking testosterone!! I crave physical touch, it can not in any way be turned off. When I first came on this board there was a guy that was trying to find a drug, ANY drug that would kill his desire. I can REALLY sympathize with him."
I COMPLETELY empathize and sympathize with you. The situation you are in is VERY tough, much tougher than mine because my W is already showing signs of wanting to change things. But I state again, you are taking your specific situation and over-generalizing things. I'd be willing to bet there is SOMETHING your wife could do or has done that would turn off sexual attraction, at least temporarily. If she were to then approach you for sex, you might refuse, or at best you would be reluctant, something that is not very good for the sexual encounter to go off well. I can think of several things that my W could do that would turn me off, and I am so hot for her most of the time I can't think of anything else.
Yes, you crave physical touch, most people do. But that does not mean necessarily that every "HD" person craves physical touch from ANY person, every second of the day.
"To not desire sex, that is something I have not experienced in the last 35 years!"
Come on CeMar, give me a break. Are you trying to tell me that you have not in 35 years ever stopped wanting sex, even for a short time? When was the last time you were violently ill (vomiting, diarrhea, killer headache, aches all over, weak, fever, etc.)? Are you trying to tell me you were still craving sex then?
I undestand what you are saying about it being a strong desire MOST of the time, I feel the same way. But you can surely see how external stimuli and situations can influence how much someone wants sex. For some people, those stimuli and situations overwhelm them, and for many of those the stimuli and situations are R-related.
Again, I really empathize with you CeMar. You've got some real sh!t going on in your life. But it is NOT going to EVER improve if you don't start bringing your focus down to your situation and forget about all the over-generalized "snake oil" solutions you are looking at right now.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
