My wife and I have been struggling for years, our only real issue being that of our mismatched libido. I am very HD, she is VERY LD and it has caused some MAJOR problems. Last night, she finally gave me an ultimatem: She wanted me to ask myself this question: If we could never have sex again, would I still love her and want to be her husband? If I answered yes, she MIGHT stay, if I answered no, she would leave and move the kids out of state. She asked me to think of it as if she had been in a major accident and was now paralyzed from the neck down. Would I still love her? Would I still want to be married? According to her, her self image is so low that it is as if she were actually paralized.. she physically CANNOT touch or be touched in anyway. I said the question was totally irrelevant as she is still very capable of allowing intimacy if she wanted to. That response was what she has now taken as her answer... She thinks I am only interested in her if she provides sex, my love is conditional. I just think this is a lousy way of thinking. But regardless, while I thought she was going to work this morning, she has apparatnly left with the kids. She called and left a voice mail on my work phone saying "goodbye"
So my question for the group: What if you could never have sex again for some reason. Would it change the way you felt about your spouse? And is it fair to impose that upon someone who you claim to love?
Now off to go deal with my tailspinning universe...
