You are correct. And something I realized too that I had forgot, is the style or type of food that H likes, that he makes when he cooks. Mental note of that. But he did leave the dirty dishes, which I didn't do anything about this morning either, and you'll know why if you keep reading.

This is officially the warmest January on record for this state, the weather guy said so this morning. H must have been listening.

Last night just before I went to bed I gave H some website updates for one of the organizations we are involved with. He started working on them right away, and after I was in bed he came to ask some questions and ask about some errors I had made. He was right, I made some typos, and I thanked him and thanked him for doing the updates so fast too. I really do appreciate it, the information is important to have up for the date of the event coming up in February.

Restless night sleeping, and it must’ve been for H as well. I saw lights on well before 5am. H ended up in the hallway looking out the window, and I said good morning while I was still laying in bed. He said, what? And started talking about the sky and how pretty it was and the sliver of moon, and walked in the bedroom, looking out the window which is right by the bed, so I reached up and scratched his hairy chest, and we spent the next hour in a tickling/wrestling match on the bed. I was late for work. Which was just fine, because I had already told them yesterday that I was headed straight to the store for donuts for a meeting here this morning, so no one expected me at 7am anyway. Whew!

I wasn’t quite as caught off guard this morning, this is a returning pattern of H stalling in the hallway, and I seized the opportunity, and he responded. During all the wrestling, in the moments of rest before a ‘new hold’, we had eye contact and I saw some looks on his face that I have not seen for years. It almost felt like he wanted to say something, like he had some words that he was holding back. This is all so great and wonderful, but I am still very guarded. I will sure take the good as it comes, and hope we can keep forward momentum. A little thing like this a good start, but I can’t help but think of the million things that are still so wrong, how do we ever chip away at all of that? It becomes depressing and overwhelming, I have to step away from those thoughts, and just dwell on the good things.

Out the rest of today for meetings.

And while I am writing very controlled and logically, this is how I am inside...

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.