Quote: I've been avoiding you. I'd admit. And a big reason is I see a lot of my x in you in terms of where you are. This is her last summer.
I'm so sorry that I remind you of her. And I can understand why you'd rather stay away from the thread. So, I really appreciate your offer to try and help me understand X.
Quote: In many ways, I was your H. Not quite the background issues but the sulkiness, yes, depression, frustration with keeping up with x in the financial measurements (which is not your sitch as we've already determined). And I became LD. But, unlike you, she never brought it up. We were actually having some good times but she started detaching from me in her new jet-setting new city, new country, new hotel life surrounded by scads of Ms and Fs either Ded or in midst of D.
Well, I hardly have a jet-setting lifestyle. But I certainly understand that being around cheerful people seems a lot more attractive when your spouse is depressed and unresponsive. I find myself spending more and more time at work. I have to keep reminding myself that, since I'm not in the private sector, I'm not generating billable hours, and no-one is going to give me anything extra for putting in 12-hour days.
Quote: I can only assume my x is commiserating with newly D older guy with money, among others and was not so dismissive.
Ouch. That has to hurt. But, you know, I wouldn't necessarily assume that she's happier (not that that's much comfort to you). I think most divorced people, after the "glow" of the divorce has worn off, begin to remember the good things about their x, and miss them. Even my mother and father, who still hate each other with a passion and can't be in the same room together without causing a scene (even though they divorced in 1969) occasionally say things like "Gee, I wish I'd worked harder on my 1st marriage."
Quote: at some point I'll try to give you some perspective from H's side . .. . When I get more info about him I can give you more M perspective.. . .And if you're wondering about H's behavior just give a shout, esquire.
If/when you feel up to this, I'd really appreciate it.
