I think you've got it exactly right. The leprosy analogy is apt. And this hit home too:
Quote: This man is emtionally crippled. For you to ask him to be intimate with you is like asking a man in the late stages of polio to get up and run a marathon.
He will get as close to you as he is able. He illustrates this by being 'kind' to you after his verbal abuse bouts. He is like a man who holds you at arms length with one hand, yet beckons you closer with the other. And you wonder why you are sad and confused.
X often says "I'm doing the best that I can." And I think he is. But you're absolutely right, he is wounded, crippled, broken -- whatever word you want to use -- and he quite literally can't be the way I want him to be.
And, I see, as I just said in response to Stigmata's post, that, to a large extent, I'm able to get some portion of the attention, love and affirmation that I want from S14.
Okay. I can accept (however painful it might be) that this is just the way that X is. And that he has no plans to change.
