There are answers... but there is no right or wrong to them. You spill out gems, and I'm just thinking is all.... it has been interesting to watch you respond to me. You've been thoughtful, patient, honest... we revist your xH and his problem and you scatter like a buck shot.... this isn't bad. It's telling.... and I"m thinking, so give me some time...
Quote: If you asked him (and I have) he'd say "it's because I can't afford to move out" or "it's for our son" or "it's more comfortable for me to live in the house" or "Landica, if you think that I love you, you're just fooling yourself. I came back because I felt guilty"
L, he doesn't WANT to love you (whether he does or not is something else). I don't know what the details are of his particular abuse sitch, but I can tell you, there is lots and lots and lots of self-loathing going on with him... you being the beautiful, smart, intelligent, sexual woman you are is a constant reminder to him of all that he ISN'T. You pushing him on the issue makes it worse... and that's why he lashes out at you.
Yet... he offers you an olive branch a day or two later. I know that M.O. very well, indeed.
So, do you want to be loved, or do you want to be loved by him?
Did you say that he was at one time an alcoholic? Or have you been married more than once?
Kick ass in your new job... let it feed your PMA. You're going to be fine. Don't kick him to the curb yet.
