This is step one in learning how to trust yourself. How you feel when you make a decision. I'm sure you do it all the time in your job... and feel quite confident when you do make decisions.
Your initial impulse was to tell the guy, "thanks, but no thanks." You felt good about yourself because you know you don't want to just be a booty call.
So. We know a few things from this.
- you respect yourself more than you give yourself credit for.
- you know one thing from a potential R that you DON'T want.
- you had no problem telling this guy thanks but no thanks. You CAN, in fact, stand up for yourself.
See? You did it. Now practice more and more, with all kinds of things that happen to you on a daily basis, from that area of "KNOWING" that is inside you. Become more familiar with it by deciding what YOU DO want... for yourself, no one else. By saying to yourself... "Okay, I AM worthy of life, I AM the driver of my own bus of life (not a victim of it)... so what does that mean, specifically? Who is this person? What does she want from life? What does that look like?
Ask yourself what makes YOU happy? What do you do, in absence of anyone else, where you can actually lose track of time? What do you do (all by yourself, with no one else) that makes YOU feel good? I'm sure you know one or two things, but I guarantee you, there are more, and you really have to think about them.
Get to know yourself. Get to know all the reasons why you are a great person, why you are your own best friend.... and you can't do this and be a victim of life at the same time. Really. Every time you come up with something, the victim in you is going to criticize it, tear it apart, put it down, tell you why it won't work... so you'll know when it's happening. The 'vicitim' in you does not go quietly into that dark night... so be prepared.
I'm going to comment on an earlier post of yours here in a bit...
