I took your suggestion and read the article and, interestingly enough, it helped me understand that the person I can't forgive isn't Steve or even Sarah. It's me.
I got goosebumps reading this Landica. About half an hour after I finished my post to you, I was kind of mulling it over in my mind and I thought - she needs to forgive herself.
I can't quite put my finger on it but I have a strong affinity for you Landica. There is nothing in your posts where I can say - that's just like me - but there is something reading between the lines that resonates with me.
Corri said:
Quote: You are extremely hard on yourself and leave little, if no room for yourself, to be human. You are beautiful, smart, successful in your career... have a great home, a son, a man who you consider to be 90% perfect... yet you feel like a great big failure. You know ALL of this, and I'm sure you are even perplexed by why you continue to feel like a failure. You keep looking for your answers, because no matter how with it and together and successful it all appears, you still feel unhappy and confused. So you figure if you are feeling this way, there must be a reason for it... so you keep looking... OUT THERE. You continue to look OUT THERE because all you find IN HERE is sadness and confusion.
I urge you to read the book on Narcissism, as I said I found it very helpful. I feel that you have been brought up to believe certain qualities (such as intelligence for example) are what makes one lovable. But we are lovable for being human Landica and it is in getting in touch with the weak side and the human side that you will begin to truly feel (including feel anger).
take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
