Hi Landica,

Boy you've had a tough time and I can totally see why you ran back to your H.

I would suggest as a start off point to read (on these boards) an article called Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself re your feelings about Sarah and Steve. It's really important to try and forgive because by doing so you will release yourself and learn to trust again.

I would also suggest reading anything you can about Narcissism. Strikes me your H could have a touch of that about him and I wouldn't be surprised if you found a few things that chime in with your own character . I sure did and it taught me a lot. A good book I can recommend is Narcissism by Alexander Lowen.

You will find stuff in there about how charming narcissists can be when their narcissistic supply is cut off. By drawing boundaries with him you are threatening that and he is being charming. HPs suggestions about getting a life are pretty much the mantra around here and it DOES work. It has a double effect 1) you're R becomes less important in the scheme of things and therefore has less power to make you miserable and 2) You become a happier and more attractive person to be around thus helping your R if you KWIM.

take care

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong