Landica, I read the convo between you and your xh. Is that the way he normally speaks to you or was he unspeakably angry?
I found it to be extremely disrespectful and downright hateful. (If it weren't for our son, I wish I'd never met you, for example)
I can't fathom wanting someone like that in my life. Has he treated you this way for most of your relationship? Can you envision the leap your self esteem would take if you would remove his daily presence from your life?
I guess I'm thinking of it this way: As long as your self esteem is in the crapper, no one is going to look/act appealing to you. You 'get' what you radiate 'out', kwim?
So you unconsciously keep yourself stuck with your xh because you don't think there's anything better and he's done a bangup job of convincing you of the same.
I think the GAL portion of Michele WD's books applies to you particularly. The idea should be to enrich your life...to experience new things and new people. Not necessarily to find a new life partner but just to, well, live. As you begin to heal from the abusive/controlling nature of this R, I would expect that more suitable mates will come into your life.
