Although I don't really care so much about looks (when I'm with a guy I tend to focus on a few physical features that I find really attractive: cleft chin, long fingers, soft hair. I pretty much ignore the not-so-appealing features. So, while no-one (who didn't need extremely strong prescription glasses) would say that H is conventionally good looking, I find him really appealling. So most of the guys (including H) that I've dated have been average to below average looking objectively, but really attractive to me.
Money/success is a little more complicated. I have a good, well-paying job, and while I'm not interested in someone who just wants to sleep around the house all day, as long as they have a job of some kind, that's fine.
Intelligence, however, is pretty much non-negotiable. Of course, there are all kinds of intelligence. For example, I did pretty well in school, but, obviously, I'm a complete dummy when it comes to relationships (unlike, for example, many of the people on this board . What I mean is that I need someone I can really talk to about ideas and thoughts and theories]. It's not that the person has to have some fancy education. It's just that they have to be open to new things and new ways of thinking about things.
What you are absolutely right about is that, to some extent, I feel like a failure in the eyes of the world because I'm divorced. Getting back together with H makes me feel better about myself on that level, so I'm (obviously) willing to put up with a lot more than I should to maintain the relationship.
when it comes to relationships (unlike, for example, many of the people on this board . What I mean is that I need someone I can really talk to about ideas and thoughts and theories]. It's not that the person has to have some fancy education. It's just that they have to be open to new things and new ways of thinking about things. 
