Well, guys, I tried to be more assertive and to put into effect some of your suggestions. Not much luck. In fact, on the contrary.
Corri: I did read that article that you referred me to, and it really did give me some valuable insights into how H's reactions were at one point adaptive and useful and helped him to survive what was obviously a hellish situation.
So, I decided to try and express that I was not happy and my needs weren't being met. The conversation went something like this:
H: Well, I guess we're just different. You like affection and I don't like affection. You like having people touching you and I don't like people touching me. In fact, I'd be happy if no-one ever had any physical contact with me again.
L: I understand you feel that way, but is that how you really want to feel? Maybe you could change.
H: I don't want to change. I'm happy the way I am and if you don't like it, you can just get out.
L: Well, if you feel that way, why did you want to get back together with me?
H: It was just for our son. If it weren't for him, I'd wish I'd never met you.
L: Well, you know, I'm not going to stay forever in a relationship with no affection and no sex.
H: Fine. Go out and find some other man. I'm sure you won't have any trouble. I just don't want to hear about it. Now, please stop whining (at this point I was in tears) and leave me alone, because I need to read this article about the revisionist analysis of the signifier in post-modern structuralist art criticism.
Coincidently, I then got a call from an ex-boyfriend who suggested that we go out for "cocktails" next week. I'm not so sure about the "tails" aspect, but the "c*ck" part of the agenda sure sounds good to me.
