Sorry to find you here under these circumstances. You will find yourself at home here with a wonderful group of good people. You may want to look through Tim and FrankDs threads...they have some great insight into situations very much like yours, not to mention all the excellent advice they have received from other people on here.
Generally if you do a search, you'll find that your question is actually a very common one...you'll also find that if you do confront the other person, rarely has it ever worked, you're giving them more power than they deserve. This is always about you and your WAS, never about the op. The op is as some say here a bandaid to the underlying issue. You are already leaps ahead by realizing your part in the demise of your M. This is where you should be concentrating your efforts...again I strongly suggest reading Franks threads, as well as Tims.
As far as the op is concerned they have been fed a great deal of information generally by the WAS. It is the WAS truth, their side. At this point in time, your WAW has left the marriage, it is no longer attractive to her. The om also now believes perhaps that your M is over because she has left you. It would be very rare for the op to actually say ooops what am I doing here, why am I getting involved, I wouldn't want this to happen to me. I know, I confronted the ow very early in the breakup and trust me all she did was run back to him and she fed him full of lies and mistruths regarding what I said, yet her very words to me were "I can feel your pain, my H left me for another woman, I'll send him home." Well that was almost 7mos ago...no signs of him coming home yet...and well now I no longer want him...so it's all good.
This is your new journey my friend. Do read these books all the way through. There are many other excellent books to that we can suggest. Continue with your therapy. GAL (Get A Life) and focus on you and not what they are doing. This does not mean your M is over, but your previous M is over. This is a new road a new journey...to prepare yourself for the possibility of the return of your WAS or for any future Rs that you may have.
Best wishes...and post all the time. A big suggestion, vent here, don't vent your frustration on your WAS.
