Chrome Lets Talk About SEX!

[chromosphere]

Thanks for your words BF. I appreciate them.

I definitely understand the idea of me being the silent aggressor. That trying to convince her with words is a bad idea. That I need to confidently lead, even in the face of continual rejection, until the rejection goes away. I just at the stage now when confidence and leading are a forced action on my part, not a natural by-product of my manliness. I have to think it, rather than just do it, and theirin lies the conundrum. Women can read men like an open book, so my forced confidence is apparent and I'm sure confusing to her on a subconscious or biochemical level. Much like her forced affection is confusing and somewhat unsatisfying to me (although I appreciate the effort involved). I realize this is a phase, perhaps the hardest phase, of trying to beat back tendencies that we ingraind in our R over 10 years. I need to be more of a romantic (odd for a romantic at heart to say that) despite the responses I get

Anyway, I promised no more novels on this board for awhile. Thanks again.

I hope you are doing well. You should start a thread and clue us in to how you are doing in this new phase of your life.

glob

[blackfoot]

Then what explains HD women? HD women often ARE aggressors

first any 'explanation' about HD women is going to be only theory and conjecture on my part. Give me a MRI machine, 5000 women and a couple years and then maybe we could have a decent conversation about this.
I have implied at the reasons why before. But you believe its up to your W to fix. So your sitch is hopeless. She will never be HD.

Second, whatever it is, is not a solution for you. You arent willing to lead the way there, so you arent ever going to get there. It seems to me that all you get from your reading, is what she needs to work on. Doesnt it suck to feel powerless?
I would hate that feeling. I would grasp like a drowning man at anything I could do to change me.

In case you havent noticed, when the women are aggresors --in the wrong way --as peceived by the male, it mucks things up also.

cemar you mentioned drugs to remove desire. They exist. Sex offenders take them and become chemically castrated. Knock yourself out with it, if thats what you want. There is a birth control shot for women called Depo-Prevara. That will fix your desire nicely.

I believe Dr Harleys workbook is aimed at couples. Since you dont have a work mate IYO to join you in the workbook exercises, its not an option for you.
Your head must surely be bruised by now. It makes me wince watching you bang it.

We are of no use to you here obviously, as you always have a counter argument but never details.

You should hire a professional. I am sorry I was of no help to you. Good luck.

[blackfoot]

That I need to confidently lead, even in the face of continual rejection, until the rejection goes away

One of evolutionaries creations is that we remember very vividly the bad. Keeps us from making nearly fatal mistakes more then once, or we dont pass on our genes. In any other age but our modern one, I would not have the chance to do that most likely. Im missing the "L" part of the fight or fLight sequence. . I brush off the negative memories.

In the case of emotioanal reactions dealing with your SO well this emotional warning are not so usefull on a extreme measure. For men at any rate. Women do.

You have well being --loads of it. You remember the hurt.

All that being said, Your W 'rejection' is your perception. Change it. From over here I see lots of acceptance, assistance with healing the R, following your lead, <up and down and all around >, and honestly trust.
Change your perception, Chromo.

Oh yeah, what am I gonna do about you being a big goof ball?








Why....... JOIN you........ of course.