Knowing why is not a solution. Actions/ behavior is a solution. despite that wanted to add some science for you Chromo...
Religion and verbals both exist in the -concious choice making- mind, the cerebrum. Sex exists mostly for women <excepting some of the HDW here who have made connections elsewhere> in the limbic system (or corpous collosum), which is why there moods and drives fluctuate so drasticlly with their cycle, IE change in hormones. To a smaller extent in the cerebellum which is where the disinhibitors of drugs, alcohol,( and Orgasm for women )take us too and enable even pysch damaged/ bad mental associations to sex to be ignored/ forgotten. Also- for women- their verbal centers, more specifically, their reactions to what they hear spills over into their emotional centers. Major PITA. We as men have to 'finesse' so much more then women.
Hence stigs advice to stop verbally asking. Lead, with confidant actions. ex. I didnt ask Mel to take off her PJ's. She could have said 'no', but she just waited for my next move... females are receptive sexual partners in the equation, not aggresors. <Cemar if you dont get this, there is no hope for you. You KNOW about the testoserone. So STOP externalizing.> Women will say NO if they do not want to. They will say, ummm, emmm, welll, uhhh, maybe we..., but the kids..., werent we...., ,heheh dont- stop heheh which becomes dontstop dontstop dontstop, blah blah blah.
If you want her to make EC with sex its up to you to make it happen. Dr. Harley talks about this under his sexual fullfilment part of his website.
Stigmata stands up and applauds heartily. A tear at corner of his eye. A Shout of: "You Da Man!" Outstanding Chrome, you couldn't have reacted any better in this situation. Perfect.
Ditto, that was great, I loved it. Also the comment about her cute ass and trying to watch TV. Loved it to, forgot to mention it. Her very demure reply was looking for more of the same.
It's not you, these issues she's dealing with are hers and, on some level, she is beginning to see that they're irrational and unjustified
YES absolutely. And this is exactly where your current leading actions, combined with discussing it in a nuetral setting with help via HNHN, and not avoiding the conflict of having the -logical conversations- as NOP has been telling you - will bring it all together.
Chromo, your struggling on many fronts fighting a bunch of battles. Hope some of them have been victoriously decided. Level off--, once you do, she will also. That may help you, knowing that she is reacting to your ups and downs.
