Quote: "you have no idea how it feels to not want sex at all but feel like you have to give it." So much for W being a hottie
Chrome, firstly when someone mentioned that your wife is a hottie on the inside, I think you should take it as she HAS an inner hottie. We all do. She will need to lean on your strength in order to fight against her upbringing--and YOUR affair--to let it out.
And I seriously doubt that she feels you have raped her. She was describing her feelings and looking for an appropriate analogy. She feels like she can't say no and that is why the rape stuff popped up. Perhaps you could have taken that opportunity to *listen* to her and validate what she's saying..."It would be hard to feel as if you couldn't say no." Look, what she was doing was opening up to you. This was a gold mine! She is opening up and letting you inside, talking freely about sex and her feelings towards it. Do not let your disappointment show so clearly or I doubt she will ever do it again. Remember to *validate* what she's saying. Have you ever read any of those goofy communication books..you know, mirror back what your partner is saying, etc etc? They might help.
Buck up. You are in this for the long haul. It will take years for the both of you to construct a new R. Try not to get discouraged over one uncomfortable conversation, ok?
