"If she seems to need this to get her emotions back in check after her O then by all means it is great. I have heard of woman crying after a O because of the connection/love they feel at that moment. But to do it every time no. Hence my statement of you can control the trusting even from the bottom after her O and either increase it or decrease it and gauge her response/expression."
I'll have to be frank Chrissy, I'm sure you are trying hard and I am just being thick-headed, but I am just not getting what you are driving at. Are you saying that I can do different things right after her O to increase/decrease the EC? Why would I want to decrease it? I'm sure what you are trying to say is obvious, I'm just a knuckle-headed guy over here.
"Chrome Sweetie are you ready to play W I guess Chrome Well you know what I like but I was really thinking I would like to dribble a little honey between your breast tonight and then>>>>>>>>>> You get the picture A little varition not a huge jump."
OK, I THINK I get it. The idea is for me to be VERY open about trying new things, a little at a time, but gauge her responses to these things. Approach them as favors for my sexual pleasure, but always be cognizant of her attitude toward it and thus begin to develop a picture of her sexual needs. Is that right?
"Slowly by changing the concept and the meaning of the fantasies. Which will help her except her own sexuality. And a fantasy played out in a bedroom is a reality of the two involved you are still Chrome and Mrs Chrome just adding a little spice. And allowing her to not be so sexual repressed right now even if she is role playing added in with all the other changes may adventually reap you the rewards you want."
OK, so this goes along with the habit building. Have sex often enough, and your body starts to expect it and thus you want it more. Be sexually adventurous, at a slow enough pace that it doesn't set off her defenses, and her mind/body will come to expect it and thus want it.
"Your wife is young with really little experience in this. She can learn it all yet."
Something that does give me hope. If I had been trying all this for the past 10 years and had gotten nowhere, I would be more concerned. But, like I said, kid in a candy store here.
"There was a long period of time in my life I did not masturbate. People that masturbated was bad blah blah. Urges for sex that were unmet by another were unattended."
Sounds familiar.
" did not touch my own privates while having sex nor kiss anyone after oral sex because ohhh I did not want me in my own mouth blah blah until in my mid -late 30s."
Hmmm, kinda along the same lines that Schnarch talks about in his opening chapter of "Passionate Marriage." I am wondering now if that example has similarities to my W's frame of mind.
"But I had to prove to him first I did not find him a freak for doing these things for him to open up and do them. That is what sexual inhabition is all about."
Hmmm. I'm trying to see a way in which I can overcome my W's specific inhibitions though. I'm not sure it has anything to do with perceived "freakishness."
"Close your eyes and open your mind its all in there already Chrome."
You are right, I was taking the lazy approach. Just give me the answer teacher! LOL
"You have read dialouge between me and LFL joking around about pumpkin butter and various other things. Its all about imagination."
OK. I would have to defeat my W's "messiness" inhibition to do anything with honey or pumpkin butter, but I get the idea.
"Get her to apply the astroglide to herself."
Right! I see the potential there. Ummm, darlin, you missed a spot right there, and there, and ...
"Insertion would be the same knees down position the only change would be no laying down giving her the option to grind and also to determine how deep the penatration goes."
You might have to draw a picture ... I'M KIDDING!
"Yeah right now that I have made myself sound slutty you thank me! Hay wait maybe I could do that prostitute sailor thing after all"
In all honesty, I found nothing slutty at all in what you said. While many sexually repressed zealots may find sex talk slutty, I find people who are comfortable with their sexuality to be mature, interesting people.
"Your face is much larger then hers. This is a common problem for me and my H. Do not kiss straight on gonna have to not only lean down but sorta cock your head to the side so it does not press hard on her one nostril."
I do twist and turn to various sides, but there is always an excuse.
I will have to say that there is more to the story here, and I may have permanently shot myself in the foot. The W admitted to me this morning that she still thinks about the fact that I kissed OW and that it bugs her when we kiss. I'm afraid there won't be any knee-knocking kisses in the near future.
"And then if that fails you can always joke around that you know your kisses take her breath away."
I am definitely going to use that one!!!!
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
