Re: money - divide and conquer. View it like one of your children. They have an account, they can't get to yours. They need to meet their budget or they are out of cash... simple unless I'm missing something. This will allow H to "work on" his "problem" without affecting you.
Just a little history.. we do have our finances separated and I thought that might solve the problem, but it hasnt! H *takes* my checks, signs my name and cashes them for cash at a local store here. The only avenues I havent tried are to have him arrested or to lock up my checks in a safe. I'm still hoping he'll stop doing this voluntarily.
The MC. You are right in a way that we have nothing to lose going to a friend, and we could gain alot in the end too. The only prob with this is whether or not my H will actually commit to work through our problems with a MC help. We've been through 8-9 weeks of counseling in the Summer/Fall and he just couldnt hold up his end of the deal. I stopped stating I'd go again once he had enough IC to convince me he is serious about changing some things. Even without that IC history, I might give this a go anyway... any help is welcome.. I just can't throw myself into it to the point of exhaustion like I did earlier in the process. Any work done on our R by me.. or efforts is gonna have to fit into my life and schedule now. I'll no longer be shelving everything to focus on making us better!
Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?" This is the key to success... you know the answer here... This just can't be said enough can it?
Thanks for the comments! Here is the link to my last thread, but I'll warn you, I'm a lengthy poster!