I haven't read the whole tread yet, just recent; and I can say that I heard almost exactly the same things. After my H "was giving" me a chance, saying that he needs to see, what we can have and what we can't, whether he has feeling for the OW or it's just fantasy, blah-blah.. Apparently, this chance turned into his desicion to drop everything and leave for the OW, right after telling me that our 11 year relationship wasn't meant to be from the start, wasn't working for a very long time, wouldn't work anyway and that he wanted no part of it.
Well, you know what? You might want to stop listening to him as I did, and start listening to your intuition. Not what you want to find out, but what you really know deep inside. Start listening to the real you, the one that seems to be suppressed and overwhelmed now; and when you find your core and tune into your inner voice, you might find out surprising things. For example, you might find the feeling about what's going to happens next, what it is that you really want, and whether this relationship is what and how you want it in your life.
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
