Quote: We sit down to eat, and more talking. Things are going fine. After dinner I gave him his Christmas gifts and he loved them, and gave me a big hug and kiss after he opened them. After this, he's flipping through a magazine at the table, as am I. I wasn't saying much; I didn't know what to say! He got up and said he thought he would get going. He put his coat on and said, "You really aren't talking to me very much." I said, "I'm sorry. I really do want you to stay and talk with me." He said, "I don't really know why I came over." I said, "Well, would you like to stay?" and he said he really didn't. I asked him if he would please stay anyway, and he took his coat off.
He went down to our room to watch tv and I followed. We were watching a show and I put my hand on his arm. As soon as I did that, he grabbed me in a big hug and buried his head into me. He hasn't done something like that in a long time. Things happened, which I wasn't expecting, but oh well. NO ILY's were said although I certainly wanted to say it.
A little while later he got up and said he had to go to the store and pick up some things, and that he might come back over. He left all his things here, including his gifts. When he left he gave me a BIG hug and kiss, and I said, "Am I saying goodbye for the night?" and he said he thought he'd be back in a bit.
In the first bold quote from your earlier post, I saw the awkwardness. I imagine this is where he realized he couldn't just slide right back in and have things all wonderful again.
In this second bold quote, I read desperation and complete emotion. That he had been longing to hold you and was so relieved at just the touch of your hand....
To say your H is immature emotionally is probably accurate. But the feelings are there. I just don't think he knows how to cultivate them. I think he also sees how much you have grown and because he is still somewhat confused, somehow that threatens him.
I just don't see someone we are married to, even if the marriage is in shambles, just coming by to take advantage of the situation. To pick someone up in a bar - maybe - but not to come home to us. Too much history.
I think he is looking for "home" and just realized that home has changed and much of it is his fault. I know that overwhelming feeling of "Oh Jesus, What have I done. How can I make things right again?". His behavior reminds me of that feeling.
Keep praying for him. Just ask God to be everything that he needs....
