Get back into the DBing mode and quick! Your H's words do not support his actions. Not at all. I think he discovered when he was with you that this is going to take more work, as it will for all of us and our spouses when they return. He has realized that he can't just walk back in the door and you guys pick things right back up. Your sitch is actually a reality check for us all. We might get awfully caught up in the wonder of our spouses returning but the real deal is that that is probably when the REAL work is going to have to take place. I think that in your husbands mind he has been through so much (and put you through so much) that he doesn't think think he has the energy for all it will take to reconcile and get your marriage back on an even keel.
So he got sad and then he got angry because that will stop the process if only for now.
That's just MHO but I'm curious to see what he does when you pick yourself right back up and get back to where you were when HE started to pursue YOU again. Don't call him. Don't write him. Let him sit with this awhile and see what happens. I'm very sorry that you are hurting but I think there is a real possibility a corner has been turned in your sitch. Now it's a matter of him finding out if he has the guts to follow through on the hard stuff or not.
