My H. called me this afternoon. Immediately I knew this was not going to be a good call, because the tone of his voice was very down. He asked how work was, etc. He is at work tonight.
He said, "Well, I'm sorry about yesterday." I asked why he was apologizing. He went on to say that he felt he was wrong to come over; that he felt very uncomfortable here. I asked him why he felt uncomfortable and he said, "I don't know. I just did." He said it wasn't anything I did.
He said that he had wanted to come over to see how he would feel, and it wasn't what he thought. I asked what he had hoped to feel, and he said, "I don't know...something new, something different, but it didn't." I tried to tell him that considering we haven't seen each other very much, it would be normal to not feel comfortable here but that I did enjoy his visit and I had hoped he would come by again. He did not sound very positive about doing this. I don't think he wants to come over again because he felt he was wrong; he kept saying that, and said he was sorry.
I have to tell you, I feel totally rejected all over again. I think he tested the waters regarding his feelings, didn't feel what he'd hoped for and has written this off now. I don't know what to do now; I don't think he will be back over to see me and I am so very sad tonight.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
