You said you were amazed at H's behavior. Is that because it was so out of the blue? Or some other reason?
I did not see this coming, even with the increase in his phone calls lately. I tried to be pleasant and welcoming to him, without overdoing it. Was that what he wanted...for me to be all over him and assure him I want him back? I thought that was smothering?! He used to talk to me about his feelings, but last night, nothing. I had no idea that he was here to see how he felt with me, if he fit in and was comfortable. I wish I had known this.
Again, I feel like I blew a chance or something. I tried to tell him on the phone last night that it would take more than one dinner and a few hours here to feel comfortable again. How could he expect to feel ok about things after months of not living here and spending time with me? It doesn't work that way.
The bigger question is why is he all of the sudden looking to see if he feels comfortable here again.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
