Thing is, Sassy, I've still been an A student on this; I don't always pick up his calls and I only call him if it's due to a financial matter. That is it. No personal calls from me anymore. He got curious around NY Eve as you know, but this only lasted about a week, and then he went dim/dark on me. Maybe a case of, 'two can play at that game', I don't know. I cannot figure him out.
He is supposed to be stopping over here for mail today. I'm not coming right home after work tonight and I'm turning my cell off. How's that?
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
He is supposed to be stopping over here for mail today. I'm not coming right home after work tonight and I'm turning my cell off. How's that?
That is a HUGE step, not even a baby step!! Good for you...and if he tries to find you on Sunday you won't be home either...and maybe not Sunday night either!! So there!!
Right you are. But I don't expect to hear from him. He's off this weekend, which translates to "I won't be calling Hope because I have free time to spend with o.w."
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Quote: Right you are. But I don't expect to hear from him. He's off this weekend, which translates to "I won't be calling Hope because I have free time to spend with o.w."
Eh eh...missy. You know better than that...never ASSUME...because you know I have my whip and I know how to use it. You're better than this and you don't have to worry about him and what he's doing...you've got a full plate this weekend...start looking forward to that.
Hope- Your strength amazes me. I am 100x better when I don't talk to him. Talking to H really brings me down, makes me feel less centered, and I get caught up in thinking about OW and "how could he do this to me." The fact that you can go dark and stay dark is really awesome.
I guess for me it is still relatively new and although I know what I need to do to get healthy it is still hard to always do it.
Quote: Hope- Your strength amazes me. I am 100x better when I don't talk to him. Talking to H really brings me down, makes me feel less centered, and I get caught up in thinking about OW and "how could he do this to me." The fact that you can go dark and stay dark is really awesome.
I guess for me it is still relatively new and although I know what I need to do to get healthy it is still hard to always do it.
You rock sister!
I do?! Wow...thank you! Sassy tells me I'm protecting myself now, emotionally, and I know she is right. And it's almost like a survival skill. I was taking an emotional beating letting myself see/talk to my H. so much...none of it ever resulting in a reconciliation, so where was it getting me, really? Just a lot of upset.
I know how hard it is initially, Grateful. It's just the worst thing you have to go through. Ripping yourself apart from your other half. I imagine for a lot of you, it's even harder if your H. hasn't made the decision for you. Mine did, so I was forced into behaving this way. Now I keep it up because I saw progress, emotionally, for me. I have no idea how this distance is affecting my H. but there is still a small part of me that hopes it is making him miss me. NYS always says how being apart like this will eventually let him remember more of the good times, less of the bad. I don't know if he's getting to that point yet. Maybe. I hope so.
Grateful, thanks for posting and saying what you did. When others see it in me, it gives me what I need to do it more. So, I'm grateful to YOU!!!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hey hope- Glad that you are believing what we all see in you...how strong you are!!!
What happened last night with your H? Did he come by? Did you see him?
Thank you for your feedback on my sitch...i replied over there to you. I don't think i will make it tomorrow to brunch...but, since you and i aren't that far from each other, maybe we can plan another time? Have a great time tomorrow!
So I'm sitting here this evening, wine, movie, and wondering what WAH is up to. My cell rings, and it's H. I answered. (When Sassy finds out, this will cost me one beating from her whip)
He's driving to the store to get meds (he has a bad cold). He asked me how I am doing, how are things at home, etc. Wow, I'm thinking...lots of small talk tonight. This is a change. He actually seems interested. I returned the favor, asked him how he's doing. He said, "Well, other than having this cold, I'm doing good!" [Hope feels knife in heart] I said, "Well, I'm glad." He said, "Yeah, I'm doing good! How are you doing?" And I told him I am doing as well as can be expected. He replied something like, "Yeah. I guess you are...yeah." like he knows this isn't easy for me.
Next, he tells me his plans for tomorrow. Weird; he never offers info. but guess what? He's having lunch tomorrow with a friend of ours...in the same area that I am meeting Sassy for brunch. Oh great. So now I may run into H. tomorrow with Sassy. This ought to be delightful. I did not tell him I was going to be in the same area, because I knew he would ask me where we were eating, and he might just turn up there. So he doesn't know, and I hope that we don't see him.
So, he says to me that he did have some acct. info. for me but that he wasn't just calling for that reason; he wanted to call and say hi first, etc. He actually pointed this out---that he wasn't just calling for a financial reason. {is he reading my posts or my mind??} I thanked him and said that it was nice of him to call.
He gave me the info., and said he would give me a call later. (later is always open to many different definitions)
I guess it was a pretty positive phone call, with the exception of his "I'm doing good!" remark. So I guess life without me is turning out well after all.
And now I have another stomach ache.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Your doing really well, funny how we turn corners. You and i spoke back and forth about being told to get to this point but we just coundn't. And slowly we step into the advise.
Hey Hope. Don't let "I'm doing good" fool you! If he was, he wouldn't be calling you to see how you are especially from his car where he can get away with it with no witnesses. He's thinking about you when he is sick. He is remembering how Hope used to take care of him. Doing good my butt.
I hope Sassy does see him. It'll do him good to get a taste of her whip!
