The Other Side of the Mountain

[hopefloats7]

Hope-
Your strength amazes me. I am 100x better when I don't talk to him. Talking to H really brings me down, makes me feel less centered, and I get caught up in thinking about OW and "how could he do this to me." The fact that you can go dark and stay dark is really awesome.

I guess for me it is still relatively new and although I know what I need to do to get healthy it is still hard to always do it.

You rock sister!

I do?!
Wow...thank you!
Sassy tells me I'm protecting myself now, emotionally, and I know she is right. And it's almost like a survival skill. I was taking an emotional beating letting myself see/talk to my H. so much...none of it ever resulting in a reconciliation, so where was it getting me, really? Just a lot of upset.

I know how hard it is initially, Grateful. It's just the worst thing you have to go through. Ripping yourself apart from your other half. I imagine for a lot of you, it's even harder if your H. hasn't made the decision for you. Mine did, so I was forced into behaving this way. Now I keep it up because I saw progress, emotionally, for me. I have no idea how this distance is affecting my H. but there is still a small part of me that hopes it is making him miss me.
NYS always says how being apart like this will eventually let him remember more of the good times, less of the bad. I don't know if he's getting to that point yet. Maybe. I hope so.

Grateful, thanks for posting and saying what you did. When others see it in me, it gives me what I need to do it more. So, I'm grateful to YOU!!!