I have to tell you that I had a talk with a close friend today (who also is a member of H’s family), and she wishes to see me waste no more time on H. This, coming from a member of his family! She’s been in my shoes and waited a very, very long time for her 1st husband to pull his act together. He didn’t. They did divorce.
She is full of compliments for me, and tells me how much the family misses me. This really touched me and I hate what has happened to our relationship. H. is not close to his family and they have always been closer to me than H. I know they are extremely saddened by what H. has chosen to do and they actually want me to pull myself out of this mess, and let him go down all by himself.
I wrote to her, told her I’m doing my best to take care of myself. I do have a plan laid out in my mind of what I will do, where I will move to, if we D. but I’m not making any decisions at this time. She respects this but she is so darn mad at H. (and disappointed, too). This is causing such unrest in the family. I wish everything could be erased and we could go back to happier times.
I joined AAA. (No, not AA; Triple A, the auto club). I had been thinking about it, and I received a card in the mail offering the membership. I felt this was an excellent move for me; God forbid I break down, I won’t have to worry about who I can call anymore. I have my own little member card and a shiny sticker on my car’s bumper. See, I’m becoming more independent. I’m proud today.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
