I’ve been doing better recently than in past months. I’m enjoying myself more at work, cooking healthy (and yummy) meals for myself, talking with and seeing more friends, etc. The best thing I’ve been doing is thinking ahead, about what I will do if this doesn’t work out. I am slowly accepting that it may not. If I am staying here for a while, then I plan to take a course this summer, just to get back into things. If I move, then once I get settled I will look into it near where I’m moving to. Either way, it’s something I do plan to work on. Hopefully by the summertime, my mind will be back to normal; no way could I have concentrated on studies any earlier than that. Someone described this as feeling “frozen” and I would say that is precisely how I have felt for months. It was the strangest thing; never experienced anything like this before. I’m better, but I still have moments like this. Is it from shock, I wonder? I also read on someone else’s thread that we need to release the outcome of all this. I know I need to work on that extensively. Sometimes I will miss my H. so very much it literally hurts; then other times I feel that I just want to move on and see what else is out there.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
