Update:
W called me last night and I did not take the call due to me GAL having drinks with friends...she left no message...hmmm?

So I call her back today and we talk on the phone for about 30 min! She was asking about why I needed her address and I explained the lawyer needed it...she said oh. She then went on to ask about the finances...she was not happy paying for bills that I'm asking her to pay in the D...I said that I was sorry but I could not handle all the bills myself. I then asked her if she had gotten a lawyer and she said no. I said are you planning to...she said I don't know.

She then proceed to tell me that she felt it was unfair that I pushed her in a corner at last MC and that she felt like I gave her no options...hmmm (thanks MC who told me to ultimatum)...I validated her concerns and blamed it on the MC for telling me that MC felt that I had no other choice.

I told her that, I can stop or put D on hold with one phone call...all she has to do is say the word. she says that she just doesn't know if she can give 110% which is what it will take in order to revive our M and she again mentioned having to quit her job due to OM...It was almost like she was testing her boundries as to what she would be coming back to if she decided. I told her that I know that her job would be her choice and even if she quit that would not mean that she would never see OM again...I said that would have to be her choice as who she wanted to be with and if it was too uncomfortable for her, it wouls be her call. (hindsite...don't know if that is a good idea...that would be really tough on me but I think she got the picture that I was trying)

i went on to say that I could forgive and she would need to forgive me also for us to move past this...i said that I just read an article on renewing vows and how popular it is becomming...I told her that i would see us doing that if it worked out...She said..."Oh Yes we would definatly need to do that"! (Did someone just see a crack in the armour?) I know not to read that much into it but I think the detaching is working...everytime we don't speak for a period of time our conversations flow well.

I probabily talked too much R but when we got off the phone I said look if you feel like talking this weekend call or if you feel like getting a bite to eat, let me know and that was it...I don't think I'll hear from her this weekend (not planning on it anyway)...

Confused on the D though...I think I am going to hold off a couple of days on giving the L W's address (so she can't be served) just to see if anything happens with W.

I can feel her on the fence...I think she is scared of the work that it would take...she mentioned that the easy way would be to D and just start over and that is my concern...W is not the hardest worker and she is likley to take the easy way. I think she is also concerned about losing her independence by staying with me...she still doesn't understand how to have independence within a M.

My plan is to continue detaching and GAL? Any thoughts from my wise bb friends? Does anyone see any postitives? And I don't need to be told NO MORE ULTIMATUMS!