I don't even think I like W anymore...not saying that I don't have love for her deep down...but as a person...not very attractive at all.

I never heard from W throughout the whole funeral week last week...not since I called her in weakness the eve I found out my GF died and we both cried have I talked to her...even though she had said in MC that she wanted more comm outside of sessions...none. What kind of person does not even call and just chedk to see how I was doing? Not a very good person that I want to be around, especially be a possible mother of my children some day.

I just cant believe W would mess everything up that we had going for us...I'm telling you we had some fun together...we were like the couple everyone wanted to be...successful, attractive, dedicated to love one other through thick and thin...I guess she forgot about the commitment part.

So W goes to her home town on Friday for the weekend, about hour and half away...I'm thinking well that is good because I know she wont be with OM at parents house...(that would look too bad, she has to keep up the charade with family that she is working on M) so she drives an hour and half to her apt tonight and what happens...she gets in her car and drives another 30 min to OM house...I'm sureshe missed the Om that is not a "factor"...Boy, I can't wait till Wed...

Some might say, what are you waiting for if you're pulling the plug...well first only pulling the plug if she refuses to stop seeing OM...but second, I want the opportunity to get some answers in the MC that if I start waves right now she will never go to MC. Plus I like the controlled atmosphere...its not like she can just hang up if I ask her a tough question.

Ok, update on the meds (Zoloft)...three days now...when I first found out about her going over to OM tonight...I got a little hot, well more than a little...but then about 10 minutes later it kinda went away...don't know if it is me detaching or the meds...but like I said before...W is starting to look pretty foolish in my eyes...kinda comical.

Oh, heard a good one at church today...Jesus said: "A divided house can not stand"... the pastor goes on to say that "If your heart is divided your heart will never be whole" Pretty fitting huh? I will probabily use that on Wed.