The above does seem very controlling, no? "the the only way you'd allow her to get own Apt"... smacks of "my way or the highway" and that it's up to you what's "allowed" or not
That was controling. That was also the old Vince. The new Vince is working on "learning" not to be controling. I have made huge progress...some W has seen and some that she has not, like when she is over at OM house or he is at her apt night of MC...she has no idea I even know bout this and it takes every amount of energy to not blow up on her like the old Vince would. We go to MC on her time table not mine...I do not call nor do I write to keep top of mind (control) with her.
Besides, you're wasting your efforts if you think your relationship is going to heal, because the same issues that created the break before, if they're still there, will drive her away again, and next time - it will be forever!
Again, you are right...I am changing (as seen above)and I can feel it and I like it...It does not come easy, but with enough effort it will. I need this for myself no matter who I'm in a relationship with.
