I told her the only way I would allow her to get own Apt (me take over 100% of bills when we are a two income household) was for her to commit to 5 MC sessions...I think she is trying to disguise the reason for her leaving as not Om but all because of me and my controling nature...and that is just not fair..
The above does seem very controlling, no? "the the only way you'd allow her to get own Apt"... smacks of "my way or the highway" and that it's up to you what's "allowed" or not.
And, since when is "fair" a part of real life anyway, you know? Ah, I'm sure you have an answer for that, but I gotta go, and we'll speak about "fairness" another time if you like.
now I'm not saying that I feel that I have no responsibility in this but to say that it was my fault that W had A...give me a break.
You know the A is not of your doing, and you know that the most you did was influence your wife to be unhappy. But then, she's influenced you too, you know.
I will always have that controling nature
What is it about it being "nature"???? It's not a "nature", it's learned behavior you've both adopted into your life, Vince and Tim. You can change that.
Now that you know that bit about yourselves and seen how it's damaged your relationships, wouldn't you want to root that problem behavior out and not resign yourselves to a life time of repeating those behaviors?
Besides, you're wasting your efforts if you think your relationship is going to heal, because the same issues that created the break before, if they're still there, will drive her away again, and next time - it will be forever!
