I don't know exactly what to say right now. It is one of those times where me being so new in my sitch makes me a little uncomfortable giving advice, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I don't think I have suffered nearly as long as you have and I may not make it to where you are but the advice I hear people give when others say what you're saying goes something like; make sure you are making a decision you can live with, and that NOT making the decision is something you can't live with. Does that make sense. It seems like there has to be a time in everyone's sitch where the end really has come, where they just can't take anymore. Problem is that I thought I was there several times in my short time here, and so has Tim, Frank, Rob and many others but then we get through the day/night/hour, whatever and find some strength that we didn't realize was there. It sounds like you are numb and just plain tired of the pain and constant suffering you have endured. I can empathize with you and I really know where you're at. If you need to make her make a decision, then I wish you the best of luck and will pray that she does the right thing. If you decide that you can stick it out longer, then I/we will be here ready to support that. Either way, you have support here. I wish for you moments of clarity where you can see your true path long enough to make the decisions that will ultimately keep you on it, whether it be with your W or without.
