Just wanted to add that you know my sitch: it's very similar to yours from the opposite POV. My H has hurt me *a lot* over the years, yet I would still have him back if he really did make the necessary changes (i.e. stop drinking, treat me with respect). No, there's no one else in my life, but I don't want anyone else right now. My point is that even in your sitch, it is possible that your W will want to be with you again. Of course, I don't know that for sure-probably even she doesn't-but I just want to point out how it is from the other side.
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Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan