Quote: Anyways my point is that I found when I started to do things for my W without any expectations or anything giving in return our R started to improve. I was always a score keeper in regards to "I did this for you and now what about ME".
Luckily I was never a 'scorekeeper' in our relationship, or in any relationships I've ever been in. I LIKE to help people who appreciate help. I do NOT like to help people who want more more more.
Part of how I 'fell down' 6 years ago was because I had NO boundaries and didn't know when to say NO. People used me till I had nothing left to give. Now I am able to do that and feel ok and not 'guilty' for not helping.
W has always been appreciative and still is. I think right now she is afraid to ask me for anything because she either thinks it will send me the wrong message, or she thinks I WON'T help her because of some of the things I have HAD to do that weren't really 'nice' like telling her she HAS to pay utilities, and that her affair is wrong and it hurts me. Just stuff like that. Plus as we know she has never been able to 'stand up' to me so she would be most likely to avoid asking me for anything if the answer MIGHT be 'no'. These are her issues she needs to work on.
Quote: Frank I know you have set very clear boundaries with your W, and that took a tremendous amount of strength. It will only help you and your realationships down the road.
