Well, W talked to the Lomi massage teachers she worked with in Hawaii about her career goals. Out of the blue they offered to lend their name to her pursuits by referring her to massage schools that often ask them to teach weekends, if she could get another guy they know to also work with her.
She was very excited about that and she knows this person and works well with him. That would of course make OM not able to be part of her business as they do not like him, and he isn't trained to teach. And getting trained is expensive. Boo Hoo.
I told her I was so proud of her and said that they must think she is very good to offer her this and she should take that as a complement. She did, and was even more proud of herself. I offered her a 'celebration hug' and she accepted. It was genuine too. Been a few weeks since I had that, it felt good. And it meant nothing.
As I spoke to her about all this I was 'happy but neutral'. I really didn't know WHAT was the best way to play it. I was amazed she let me into her space.
Then she went out grocery shopping and called me on her cell about 20 minutes later to tell me she spoke to the Spa she was trying to get the rental space from, to start up her own business. And she got the deal I suggested she ask for from them! She was all excited about that now and I told her I was very proud of her. I said I need to rub her head or something so I can get some of her luck to rub off on me and she said 'you have to rub the belly' and laughed.
She thanked me for telling her to negotiate a better deal and how to do it. Said she would never have thought of it on her own. For the most part, she was very 'polite' in her tone of voice. Not giggly excited like she used to be when she was still with me, but a more serious tone and keeping me at 'friend' status. Well, less than friend if you think about it. She was pushing me away a little after the excitement.
She must have called me first as they had called the house looking for her and I gave them her cell phone, then she called me in about 5 minutes after that. So I am privileged!
She talked about how was she going to come up with the money she would need for the first months rent and I listened but didn't offer any help. Gave her a suggestion on how to handle it if it was an issue. She sort of rambled on a bit and I told her again I was impressed and proud of her again because I knew she had it in her. She said something, I forgot what, but her tone of voice seemed like she was uncomfortable or getting annoyed. Maybe I was too proud and she thinks I shouldn't be. Maybe I was sounding like her Dad and it was bugging her. Dunno.
She came home a few minutes ago and started crying about how she was so happy that she was getting things she had been asking for. That she was seeing success and didn't think she would.
She was holding a plastic bag of grocerys in one hand while she was standing there crying and I went to give her a hug but she let her arms hang down. Oops, shouldn't have gotten into her space.
I told her that I was so happy she was finally doing this because I really wanted her to do this for years and now she is being a real business woman.
Well, she's on her way to the REAL hard work of a business. I wish she had done this when we were together. We could celebrate more without the uncomfortableness we are going through right now.
Of course, I was thinking about her calling OM to brag and how that might go. That's a thought that doesn't belong in my head.
And I thought about how she kept me at 'arms length' emotionally during these events. I feel bad, I would love to be jumping up and down with her and dancing around the house but she is still pushing me away. Yet another reason to detach - she won't even let me too close to celebrate her success with her. Sigh.
I'm glad for her, and of course scared too. I know she will probably ask me for some advice from time to time but I feel like I'm just a big brother or something. That's my problem though, not hers.
