Alrighty, a lot has happened since I last checked on you. First of all, let me say that I am so impressed by your strength of will and character. No matter what happens, no matter what you or she decide, you will always have the knowledge that you did what you could.
Secondly, I don't know if this is good advice or not(!), but I think that you are doing too much for her: the photos, the website, letting her think you'll go on family vacations together after D...ain't gonna happen. And why are you helping her with the business? Are you just helping by letting her live in the house, or will you invest? I don't want to sound like a b*tch, but I don't think you should invest any money in it: "Sorry, W, but I'm going to need my $ to get set up again after the D." She's living in fantasy land and has NO REASON to change. Why should she give up on OM when she's got him making her feel so great about herself, and you taking care of all her material needs? In fact, you are still feeding her emotionally, too. I think that to detach, you do need to go dimmer, while still being compassionate when you are together. That's the point I'm at now (mostly) and I feel a lot better.
Thirdly, she does not have good boundaries. I know I'm really into this lately b/c I need to work on it myself. But if she tells you that she felt responsible for your happiness, it's b/c she had/has an unhealthy image of what marriage is. It's not her responsibility; it's yours. I know that YOU know that, but I'm not sure she does. Perhaps she also thinks it works vice versa, in which case she'll never be happy.
I hope you have a good session today.
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
