Quote: Recognize the accomplishments and changes you've made in yourself Frank. Take pride in who you've become! I know a lot of people here would agree.
Yes, I know I have changed. I made a short list of things I can recognize...
I don't drink any more, since Oct 23 2005 I don't yell at my kids over little things I also don't lose it with W I eat better, healthier food I lost 20+ pounds I am aware of what I say to people I love, and how it affects them I have a real relationship with D15 that is respectful and loving I spend more time with D10, and she knows Dad loves her I am a strong person and I can help others to see how to get through their tough spots I'm kind and compassionate
WHere I am still is just very very anxious and scared and insecure. I KNOW that part of this comes from the fact that 3 months ago my emotions and body was a wreck. 6 years of depression, drinking had taken its toll. Then I was forced to wake up, and work on ALL the issues and at the same time deal with W pursuing OM and kids falling apart and W falling apart and the holidays and .. and.. and...
If it wasn't for people on this board and the few friends I DO have I probably would not still be here. I hate to be a whiner, I really do. I have my good days and my bad days. Today has been both. Good in the morning, bad in the afternoon. No reason other than it's the hopeless feelings that overcome me sometimes.
I know everyone on the board wants to say 'W and you have a great chance of being together' "OM is nobody, forget him, there is nothing 'real' there" and I need to hear that if for no other reason than to give ME the 'fantasy' that what I am doing actually is 'working'. The biggest problem is the days when I really AM needy and I know W can sense it. Like right now.
I totally understand the 'attraction rule' to DB'ing and I just don't feel very attractive right now. I don't think W is ever attracted to me any more. I feel like crap. Sorry
