First off, she replied via e-mail. Told me she liked the photo I suggested and said:
"Thank you for really looking at the photos, your input means a lot to me."
What did I expect, huh? Tears and professions of love? Her original E-Mail request last nite was timid, probably because she was feeling unworthy since I went 'gray' last nite after our argument about her attitude re: OM and 'getting any'. That's the thing that's weird. If she was feeling like I didn't like her or was angry why did she ask ME about the photos. I had left the house BEFORE she e-mailed them to me, and she knew I was in a bad mood. Why not just e-mail OM, her brilliant Girlfriend or others. Why ME?
I don't recall if I mentioned but last nite after our exchange about 'what she is doing' After I left the house to go for a drive I withdrew into my room to detach. This morning I went downstairs and got coffee, said very little and made very little eye contact. So, I think she is feeling uncomfortable this morning. I REALLY need to detach. It's killing me to stay connected.
She came into my room to talk about D10 and thanked me again for the photo help, said thanks for looking at them with 'my whole being' and she appreciated the comments (she was smiling a little but mostly being neutral).
I smiled and told her I always look at her with my whole being.
She thanked me again, said she really appreciated it. Then she left. I felt she seemed uncomfortable being there, and that I had said the things I said in the e-mail, even though she probably thought I was angry with her when I wrote it. She didn't want to react or know HOW to react.
I didn't fish for any feelings, just let her go, felt bad, and went on. I still feel hurt but that's the way it is.
My first (negative) reaction is that she's annoyed and confused that I said what I said even after the 'fight' we had about her actions with OM and how much she blatantly hurts me last nite. I mean, she has to be really confused that I would tell her how much she was hurting me, withdraw and avoid her and THEN say such wonderful things to her in the e-mail.
But I kept thinking that in 3 sentences I said more with my OWN words about her spirit and her true beauty than OM has ever said in all his e-mails, with all his 'cut and pasted' poetry from websites and I would guess in his phone calls or IM's. And I asked for nothing in return.
