I won't ra ra ra you at all. I started to say this the last time you said something like this but stopped. I will say it now. You are a man of steel to have done this for so long. If I am still doing it that long, someone please shoot me. I don't mean to suggest you give up, but I am suggesting that your feelings about that seem perfectly natural for someone who's put so much into this. I think, from following your sitch, that your drinking and depression takes the place of children for most of us as the reason you stick it out. It's like you owe it to her, or yourself to suffer for her the way she suffered for you. Hell, I don't think that, you said that. I know for me, my love for my beautiful, intelligent, witty, loving (used to) wife will not go away. My kids devastation will only be a factor for so long before I realize that they are probably being done more harm than good living like this. What I am saying is that you seem to be coming out of your own fog of the need to atone for you sins toward your wife. I know you are not there yet because your tone still sounds like one of somebody willing to stay on the cross for a few more days while the crows peck at your flesh. If anyone here has the strength, I think it's you, but some day, maybe after that 3 months the C wants of you, it may be time to come down and walk again. Today is not that day.
