Quote: That feeling kicks in when I see her replies and I see how excited she is. Or when she is really happy, like yesterday, and I know it's mostly because she talked to OM. These things give me the feeling of hopelessness and that I'm up against more than just an OM that is a 'diversion' but is actually fulfilling her dreams. So I get weak.
Frank, I often think some of the same things, but in my case the OM is right here. She seems to be getting more than simple romantic love or friendship from him. To her, his entire world, even his friends (she hangs with them too which is another story) represents the freedom and hopefulness she does not feel with me. For you, seeing your wife react not only to him like she does, but to the life they seem to be planning together, it seems like your in a battle against an entire philosophy, not just some a$$ 3000 miles away. It IS daunting, and probably mostly a figment of your imagination. I mean, the fact that it will ever become reality is a figment of your projection/imagination.
Quote: And since I still project MY values on OM I have such a hard time believing that he is this kind of person. That is what I need the MOST HELP on from the DB Board. What is the reality here?
I never realized I did that until now. Wow. What you are having trouble realizing is that she would go for someone so completely unlike you, and if she really did, it clearly means she doesn't want you anymore. Well, it is possible she fell for someone totally unlike you, and beyond that likely. She is, after all, trying to escape. Why escape to something just like you already have. Maybe too, you are thinking that he may be all the good things you are without all the baggage. Maybe, but you know that is not true just from the email, etc. As for her being infatuated with this guy, who we theorize is not like you, and it meaning she does not want you, well again, she was escaping. As we all hear, this is not about us. Her thing with him is separate from her thing with you. Sure, it may influence how she feels and what she eventually does but I doubt it will come down to "he is like this" and "Frank is like that so...".
Just my thoughts. I am in a rambling mood today so please forgive. I think you are back on the right track and keep it up my good man.
