its lovely here in Adelaide today, and the kids and I are off to a BBQ and swim in a friends pool hope you are having a great weekend and the weather is fine there also hugs ruth
How is that I can look at someone who used to make me go weak at the knees, and just feel a slight annoyance that he is here in my house?
Isn't interesting the phases we go through? I totally understand your feelings. I don't wish anything bad on my H. I just don't care to spend any time with him or share any part of my life with him.
I also know what you mean about the kindness of strangers. I think it is the way we are moving through life. Something different radiates from us. We have somewhat come out of our own fog, so to speak. People notice.
Or, they could be angels! I'm a firm believer in angels.
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Maybe it's because our blinders are off...they are no longer on a pedestal to us. We see them as who they truly are. Human instead of Godlike creatures. Faults where we once saw only perfection. Sadness where we once saw happiness.
The last time I saw Dave, I looked at him. Exterior wise he was still gorgeous as ever but there was something missing.
Is it just the kindness of strangers, or is it that perhaps WE are opening ourselves up to new experiences and to meeting new people? Perhaps we had blinders on before?
I've always been a social creature so to speak, but noticed that when I was married it was not as easy for me to make or have friends. exH was jealous of anyone or anything that took my attention away from him. Dave was not that way, neither of us were jealous people. We were quite secure in our R and had separate friends as well as shared friends. We were both very social creatures.
The last time I saw Dave, I looked at him. Exterior wise he was still gorgeous as ever but there was something missing.
Yes, Sassy! I get what you are saying here. Something is missing in H., too. I don't know if it's that I view him differently because he has had an affair, or if I've finally noticed the lack of joy inside him. He's still quite handsome, but there is definitely something missing, like you said. Hi, kismet...sorry to hijack!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
End of my weekend and just sitting here with a lovely glass of merlot
I can relate to the feelings about WAH. My XH called me 4 times today about this or that. I really was annoyed, I didn't want to talk to him at all! I kept it cheerful, but cut it short, so I don't understand it either, but I guess we are getting through it, one way or another! Have a great day!
Gee VJ, 4 times in 1 day, I would certainly be annoyed. I'm sure you have better things to do ~ like talk to us.
Kismet you are doing so great. Your husband must really wonder sometimes what he's missing. I reckon half of his problem over the past few months has been how independent and "over him" you seem. That can't be an easy thing for a midlife-crisis-on-legs to deal with
Thanks WB, I don't know if he misses me though, I think he is still lost in the fog. I do know he misses S14 though as starting to reach out to him big time through text messages/phonecalls. Just can't follow through by actually seeing him
hope you are having a great weekend and the weather is fine there also hugs
Ruth it is so hot here. The other night I went for a jog and nearly died and then 1 1/2 hours later on the news it was still 29 degrees and 66% humidity. No wonder my mascara ran I think I will have to get one of those Olivia Newtown John "Let's Get Physical" headbands Hope you enjoyed the BBQ.
I also know what you mean about the kindness of strangers. I think it is the way we are moving through life. Something different radiates from us. We have somewhat come out of our own fog, so to speak. People notice.
SF ~ so true. I was fogged in for years. But even today dropped in at the supermarket to pick up a few things and lady my age starts yabbering away to me. For a minute I thought I must know her, but no, she was just friendly. Maybe it's because I smile more now?
So what's up with Kismet today?
Greetings Al, same old, same old.
Maybe it's because our blinders are off...they are no longer on a pedestal to us. We see them as who they truly are. Human instead of Godlike creatures. Faults where we once saw only perfection. Sadness where we once saw happiness
Sassy I think this is true. I know I came out of the fog. Early post bomb, I actually mentioned to my mum, that I felt like the fog had literally lifted. My counsellor agreed that after what I had been through with the bomb being the cherry on the cake, very likely that I had been depressed. I also think we are seeing shells of the men we knew. I look at mine, and his eyes are empty.
Hello...hello... just checking in and see how you are doing. And you are doing fine...so keep it up. Those feelings have to crop up and dealt with somehow or other. So, the earlier you have faced it, the better...
Greetings twin DB Goddess. Thanks, yep, can't keep squashing those feelings down, which is what I used to do
Hi, kismet...sorry to hijack! Ahem Hope, this is an apology free thread. Hijack away to your heart's content.
Well all is well in my world. S14 had a buddy sleep over. I let him use my ticket to the basketball and they enjoyed it so much his friend wants to buy a season ticket. Plus his friend informed me that S14 will be joining them and playing fusball later in the year. So happy that S14 is back in full force being a normal teen.
So quiet night for me Sat. Made a lovely risotto with red wine and saffron, and just enjoyed the solitude.
Today had a long lunch with 3 friends. 3 hours of catch up and a Chicken Coconut Curry "Operation Minimise Muffin Top" starts tomorrow Also back at college tomorrow. 3 full days so that will keep me out of trouble.
On a funny note, bought my Secret Valentine a card and had left it on the bureau where I usually put wah's mail. On Friday he was here and did check to see if any mail, so would have seen it, so wonder what went through his mind. I had a little chuckle to my self when I realised what had happened.
Now my PMA moment this week, S14's friend's mother saying how well I looked, when I was slumming around the house in yoga pants, singlet, no makeup and unbrushed hair. Real 180 for me as I never let anyone see me without makeup pre bomb.
I love reading your posts; they are always full of fun info. And thank you for the advice on the fish. I would never want to confine the little guys in a bowl if they wouldn't be happy. (shouldn't I apply this to my WAH?!) Anyway, what is a fighting fish? I wonder if Petco would have them?
I really think you should put out a cookbook. What you made for dinner sounded divine!
Good for you on the PMA compliment! They do go a long way, don't they?
Hoping you have a great day. Thinking of you and sending you support today. You are doing wonderfully!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hi Kismet, it's funny how we go up and down with our feelings for WAS isn't it. Then again I suppose it is all a process, something that you were used to for so long and then it isn't as it seemed can't just go away over night. You seem to be able to not dwell on it these days so good for you.
You sound great and will check in again soon. Oh and I need to e-mail you as I have lost something, will tell you in e-mail....Kim
Ruth, let's just say I don't want to end up looking like Kim in Kath and Kim, and my favourite pair of pants were getting tight . I know I am so much happier now as cooking more, and unfortunately eating more.
Anyway, what is a fighting fish? I wonder if Petco would have them?
Thanks for the compliment about my cooking. I am really enjoying cooking and food of late. Last night made some corn fritters with coriander and cumin and they were sooooo good. A bit experimental as had to adapt a recipe to make them gluten free, and I accidently knocked in way too much coriander from what I had planned . S14 and I had leftovers for breakfast this morning as they were very moorish. It is a far cry from the weeks post bomb when I really couldn't be bothered and was actually a fan of those nuke in a box meals for one
Then again I suppose it is all a process, something that you were used to for so long and then it isn't as it seemed can't just go away over night.
Yes Kim, as much as I would like to just wake up and it all to be fixed and moved on, I know that slower and allowing myself to feel these feelings really is the way to heal.
Well life is good for me right now.
Careful what you wish for. When I said a prayer to the gods for a gorgeous male to wake me with a surprise, I wasn't really thinking of my naughty cat bringing me a headless mouse
Really seem to be moving on. S14 and I have developed a new pattern where he comes in of an evening and watches tv in the bedroom with me. We seem to have similar tastes and he quite enjoys my shows. We were all set up to watch "Prison Break" last night, ensconced on the bed complete with 2 dogs and 1 cat. I lasted all of 10 minutes before I fell asleep. Woke up to find S had fallen asleep also. It is good though as usually have a chance to talk before I send him off to bed. I really do feel whole, and feel like we are a family again ~ just S14 and I and assorted menagerie. It is a good feeling.
I think I will be graduating to the surviving the Big D thread after this thread ends. Think I will follow the exodus and move on. Not ready for the Big D (financially), but emotionally I think it is time for me to move on. Not sure if it is the best place for me, but will knock on the door and see if they'll have me
I'm a firm believer in angels.
~ like talk to us.
Hope you enjoyed the BBQ.
Also back at college tomorrow. 3 full days so that will keep me out of trouble.