"Sorry to LFL for hijacking her thread here, just seems like the most obvious place to be journalling what's going on with me for the next few days."
Don't worry, LFL is a push-over and doesn't mind her thread being hijacked. LOL
"I was flicking through a fashion catalog and realised I just was not interested in anything because HE wouldn't ever see me wearing it - I mean how dumb is that."
Not dumb at all, a classic sign of infatuation (in my humble, non-professional opinion). I used to do this all the time with OW, and still occasionally do, i.e. "man I wish she could be here to see this or that cool thing", or to give me help understanding this or that problem, etc. etc. And it is not dumb at all that you recognize and admit that you are doing it. It is when you HIDE feelings like that from yourself that you are being "dumb" and setting yourself up for disaster. Everyone has little infatuations that will pop up here and there.
"Chromo, he did. And I did like it until I found out why. What I didn't like is that he went back to the bad old slobby ways after OW was out of his life. I don't intend to do that. It's kind of funny that the M is going fine at the moment even though all this is going on for me in the background. I'm hoping I can hold that position once work-guy is gone."
Hold a minute while I pull my size 15 shoe out of my mouth (perfectly normal for my height thank you very much). I'll have to say you are taking a VERY mature attitude about your H's affair (EA or PA?). Yes, a person can change for the better as a result of an A. Every change made during the affair is not necessarily tainted as a result. I shed some really stupid views about myself because of my EA. I recognize though that it will take some time and effort on my part for my W to respect those changes as being positive though. Seems like you are already there mentally, bravo.
Unfortunately, the post-affair depression can cause those postive self-image changes to vanish or even go backwards. Could your H be suffering from post-affair depression?
Well, again I hope you can maintain your higher self-image after work-guy leaves, but because you are a good person, independant of work-guy.
"I absolutely have stopped talking to my sister about it. You're right of course she has a screw loose (I knew that), but then she's my sister."
Thanks for not letting me have it there. I violated the "talk bad about siblings rule." I hope you don't think I have an overall negative impression of your sister, I surely do not know her. Its just hard for me to imagine, say, encouraging someone to have an EA, knowing what I know now about how these things typically turn-out.
"I'm OK I really am and I reckon I won't be journalling on this topic again, it only serves to keep it to the front of my mind instead of letting it drift away like it should."
Glad to hear it, and I 100% respect your decision to not talk about it if you don't want to. Do NOT feel like you have to respond to this message. Nothing is worse than someone forcing "help" on you if you don't want it. Take care of yourself Fran.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
