I do feel bad, like I am beating you over the head. I do remember the mental state I was in when my EA was first starting, and it is worthy of tears, lots of them. I have cried nearly every day for the past 7 months (not all of it about the EA though). I hate the thought that I am speaking this way, so strongly to you, when I am sure you must already be really down. I hope you know I am not doing this to make you feel worse.
Please post every day. Let us know that you have survived another day. And take it one day at a time. Resolve every morning, NOT TODAY ... I WILL NOT START ANYTHING TODAY. Don't worry about the next day. You'll make it, I promise. I'll help if you need it or want it.
I really hesitate to say this, because I don't want to give you any ideas, but I'm sure you are a smart lady and have already thought of this. DO NOT under any circumstances give in to the urge to obtain some way of contacting this person in the future. Don't think, well, this is some saftey net just for my current sanity. There will be a moment, sometime in the future, where you will be weak, something will happen, and you will just do it. You will regret it instantly, and maybe he won't respond, but if he does, you will be in it before you know it.
Man, I hope I'm not going way overboard here and beating you over the head unneccesarily. But what is going through my head here is, if you are posting thinking about an EA on a BB, you are thinking about it IRL ALL the time. These posts may be your last-ditch SOS for someone to help you. We'll help you. There are friends here.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
