Hey, guys. I am so uplifted by all the support and advice here. You will never know how much it has helped ... because it has offered me much-needed words of wisdom, and because I can literally feel your support. And that's priceless.
More information keeps on comin' in, on both the "me&H front" and the "H&Psycho front". Let's start with H & Psycho 'cause that's a lot more sexy!
Guess what??!!! None of you will *ever* believe this, but H goes to pick up OW at her house to take her to the abortion consultation. Five minutes into the ride, she can't go through with it and wants to go back home. Uh, okay. She's either not preggo, she's too far along for it to be H's or she's being sincere. Let me throw another one atcha: Both times H has gone with her to her obstetrician, she says she'd "feel better" if H just waited on her out in the waiting room.
Oh, and after H took off work today to take her to her appointment (that they didn't end up getting to), she gets out of the car and pulls her shirt against her stomach. H said it had appeared to mysteriously shrink. He asked what happened, and she said her doctors don't know. But they think that the three freakin' medications she's on caused her to have epileptic seizures, and that's why she had to go to the hospital yesterday. That, in other words, was her "just complications." Ellie, are you out there?
Is anybody getting more and more convinced that there will be a miscarriage in the next couple of weeks ... and not a *real* one, mind you?? H and I are still expecting the worst, don't get me wrong. But what's the worst? She's preggo with his child. Okay. Accepted.
I *knew* she was going to have to do *something* to get out of that appointment today. I bet it wasn't even scheduled. The witch!
H said he drove her back home, and she started in with all the questions, "Do you want me to let you know if I terminate? If I don't terminate the pregnancy, I'll put him up for adoption. Would you like for me to let you know either way?" H said, "That would be nice." She asked if he wanted to have anything to do with the baby, and H said (again) that he would financially support the baby, and that's it.
He said she kept crying, and he kept using a mantra that he and I had formulated earlier: "I am sorry for dragging you into the middle of this. I didn't intentionally set out to hurt you, but I'm back at home now and I'm happy."
After saying that to her several times, H said she started to back down and ask if he wanted the pictures her Ds had made for him, if they could keep the things that he gave them ... and, of course, if H would continue working with her. She said, "I have a lot of jobs lined up; do you want me to give you a call when I need something made?" H said "no" to all of those questions -- except the ones about her kids keeping the things he gave them.
She said she wouldn't call him any more -- that she would e-mail him instead. Well guess what? As H is on the phone with me, giving me the whole story, she calls him. I tell him to take the call and call me back later.
He said she called to ask him questions about his apartment -- what he was keeping, what he was leaving, why he took such-and-such, if he planned on leaving such-and-such. She said she wanted to move into the apartment. H said he would let her know when he was turning all the utilities off so she could get them turned on in her name and avoid a service disruption. He said she kept saying, "Just one more question ..." He said, "It was almost like she had 80 questions on a piece of paper to ask me." I responded, "She prolly did."
So enough of them for now. H had asked me last night to rent the movie that he was watching when he had his breakdown last week. So I did, and he broke down again last night. He cried and cried and cried, and I just let him talk. He said, "Anybody who leaves their H or W for another person -- anybody who *thinks* they can just take their love for their H or W and give it to somebody else -- is just stupid, and they're wasting their time." He said, "That feeling of love always comes back. I should have just waited. It's always going to come back.
"All I can say," he continued, "is that the grass isn't greener."
Those words meant a lot to me, mainly because we use that phrase a lot on the boards. And it's going through *their* minds, too. Luckily for me, my H found a total psycho, which makes me look all the better!
As a side note, my atty is sending H's atty something to have H agree to put my name on the house deed so H can't pull this kick-me-outta-the-house sh!t again. So see? I'm still looking out for myself. We'll both be dropping the lawsuits against one another for now, and we'll see how things happen...
