I’m trying to figure out what to say. That is a lot to take in! I commend you for still wanting to work things out. I’m very glad your H. has come to his senses about you and your baby; it’s unfortunate that before he did, he (possibly) got o.w. pregnant. I definitely agree; he needs a paternity test to prove it. I think you need to insist on MC at this point. You both have a lot to work out. I will keep checking back with you to see how this is panning out. Be brave!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
PandDBing- Wow! Not sure what else to say. Needless to say, this is an interesting turn of events. Your H should insist on a paternity test, provided there really is a baby. I will say i think you handled this with a lot of dignity...good for you. I do hope things work out as you want them to.
God has a wicked sense of humor, eh? "Want to run away from the responsibility of having a child, do you??? Well, I'll show you - let's get OW pregnant too!"
Okay, I know there's nothing funny about this to you. In fact, the whole thing sucks.
Given the timing, she must have been pregnant already when you caught them together? Or do you think she arranged that time with him BECAUSE she was pregnant so she could make him think he was the father even if he wasn't? Definitely a paternity test should be done.
Have you considered sending her parents a letter, just letting them know that while you're sorry she's pregnant, she knew H was married and you were pregnant when she took up with him? I doubt her family knows the truth.
PandDBing, WOW and I thought my sitch was a tv show Please take no offense to that, my way of joking. Anyway, are you sure she is even preggo's??? Have him go with her to the doctor or you! Who knows if she is just pulling this all out of the air. The next step would be she suddenly loses the baby. I hope she doesn't sink that low. but her actions have proven otherwise...if nothing else, definitely call her bluff and order a paternity test. I KNOW you are RIGHT on the whole I feel the baby move, etc. My daughter is 3 and when I was preggo's you dont feel anything till around 5mnths. I know everyone's pregnancy is different, but PUHLEEAASSEE, she is so stretching here. How old is she????
Let me tell you, now that you have a life inside of you made with love, you have the strenght to get through anything. Keep working, your H loves you, he is realizing this. Go to MC and bust away!
Silla
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on....Robert Frost
Quote: Holy guacamole, Preggo! That's all I can think to say at this point.
Hang tough!
No kidding...looks like we just may have the whole Preggo family coming out to Dallas for the 4th of July...Keeping my fingers crossed...and I have to agree with everyone about the paternity suit. Sad that we have to do that kinda stuff today...but hey, better to find out now than a friend of mine who found out several years later (and had been paying CS!!) that the kid wasn't even his.
Thank you all for your words of comfort; yes, even "Wow" feels like comfort right now.
I forgot to mention one itty bitty detail that might make you scratch your heads even more than you already are:
OW told H she was preggo the afternoon of *our* ultrasound last month (when H and I found out we're having a boy and he went to the mountains to start looking for us a new house). Interesting timing, eh?
I asked H today if he had seen the date on *their* ultrasound. He said he hadn't. I asked if he had been to any of her ultrasounds, and he said no. I asked if he was *sure* she was preggo, and he said, "D*mn. I guess not." He said her stomach seemed to be getting bigger though. I told him if this was her 4th pregnancy, then she wouldn't have a big bulging belly at 10-12 weeks pregnant. He said, "Well, her stomach looks bigger than yours, but she says it's because she has a big tumor behind her ovaries." He said, "She keeps pulling up her shirt, saying, 'Look how much (baby's name) is growing!'"
I'm starting to wonder if she's preggo at all. H called at lunchtime and said she called him at 8:30 a.m., freaking out about him moving his stuff out of "their" apartment. H said, "Well, I figured, when I told you I was moving back home, that you'd know that meant I was moving my stuff back home, too."
He told her that I was fully aware of everything, and that I'm supporting whatever decision the two of them make, and he said that sent her into hysterics. She told him that she had just spent 6 hours in the hospital for complications. He asked her what kind of complications, and she said, "Just complications."
She said she was still planning to go to the appointment tomorrow. H asked if they would just meet each other there, and she said, "No. My doctor told me I could only drive 10 miles a day. I need you to meet me at the house to take me."
Oh boy. He asked why she could only drive 10 miles a day, and she said, "Because of my 'condition.'" Who knows WTF condition she's talking about.
Sounds to me, too, like she's setting up a miscarriage. I don't want to push too much on the issue because I'm not wanting to press any buttons with H. But this girl's a ticking time bomb. Oh, to answer someone's question: I think she's in her early 30s, but I'm not sure...I'll have to find out.
A friend of mine said, "Boy, when H decided to see if the grass was greener, he came back with a weed!" She said if nothing else, this experience with OW will make H think twice about leaving me to "check the grass" again. We'll see.
Oh, and H has already said that OW did have a couple of boyfriends soon before she met him. I told him if OW is feeling the baby move, it ain't H's ... not even if he got her preggo the month he left me. H has told me that they started having sex probably about a month after he left me, so that would be in October.
Considering all that, H has already said he'd pay for a paternity test.
Considering all that, H has already said he'd pay for a paternity test.
Yes, let's get the truth out...because honey you know that this will affect you both for a long time. Something seems very fishy to me and of course playing mom, gotta protect my little girl here!!
So if she cant' drive over 10 miles a day, why doesnt the manipulative little ----- take a taxi and meet your H there? Sorry, I dont' think I've ever posted to you, but I've been following your thread, and this really caught my attention, to say the least.
I'd bet the farm, if she's already feeling it move, and this is her 3rd? that she was pregnant before she ever got intimate with your H.
Lord, I swear, what a piece of work these ow are, I always figured that's the move monster would try to play. supposedly she had her tubes tied years ago, I figured she'd probably get them untied just to play that hand. Sorry to rant on your thread, I just get pretty riled up at the ow antics having been through it.
Yep, I'd say a paternity test was in order, can they do those before delivery? I bet they can if they do an amnio.....that's really flush the birds out of the bush.
Please take no offense to that, my way of joking. Anyway, are you sure she is even preggo's??? Have him go with her to the doctor or you! Who knows if she is just pulling this all out of the air. The next step would be she suddenly loses the baby. I hope she doesn't sink that low. but her actions have proven otherwise...if nothing else, definitely call her bluff and order a paternity test. 
She said if nothing else, this experience with OW will make H think twice about leaving me to "check the grass" again. We'll see. 