Your wife leaves the children for over half of the last year, keeps bouncing between you and OM, and your the one that lacks parenting skills?!? Never protect anybody from the consequences of their decisions. Your wife told you that clearly that she wants you to stop doing things for her and always being there. How does this translate into "be her best friend" ??
You've been on this roller-coaster almost a year and your almost where you started. Isn't it time for a change of tactic?? Maybe it is time to see a lawyer and figure out your options. Your wifes continued absences and philandering with an alcoholic junkie who has a gambling problem gives you a good chance of attaining primary custody and eliminates the chance of OM becoming a father figure to them in the future.
